Help me to name it

It's Summer. I should be ecstatic. What do I dream about, talk about incessantly, and practically salivate like Pavlov's dogs over? Summer.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm not happy that it's here. I truly couldn't be happier about that. The endless hours of sunlight, the heat, and the freedom that comes with that is wonderful. I don't know if I can adequately express what Winter does to me. Sometimes when it's dark and cold the world feels so desolate and the night feels like it will stretch on forever.

It's like that story by Ray Bradbury where there's a civilization on Venus and the sun is about to come out for the first time in seven years and the only girl that really really needs to see it and feel it's warmth has been locked in a closet by the other children. Some winter nights it feels like I won't see the sun again for seven years. Some nights I feel like that girl. I know that seems preposterous, but sometimes...

So, of course, when Spring and Summer come around again and there is abundant sunshine I am so incandescently happy all the time.

The thing that's making this Summer different is not the weather, but the time.

This semester I had little to no free time most weeks. My schedule was dominated by school, work, and my feeble, exhausted attempts at all the reading I had to do. I would wake up at 6 every morning to bike to my 8AM class and then after school most days (5 or sometimes 6) I would work until 9:30 or 10PM. And by the time I got home I was so tired that I could barely get any of my reading done. I realize that some people do so much more than this and don't necessarily have the privilege of going to college and I fully acknowledge that they are stronger, more dedicated, hardworking people than I am, than I might ever be. I'm not trying to be whiney here, just to offer a contrast.

So now, school is out for the Summer, which is great. I still work 5 days a week, but I like that. I work in the evenings and it seems that many of my friends work or have something going on in the daytime. This equals a lot of Tianna time. I certainly know how to amuse myself and I've been going to different parts of the city, discovering new spots. And it's not like I'm just sitting at home all day every day not doing anything. It's just a stark contrast and I have all this free time that I don't always quite know what to do with. That's all.

Also, I was really looking forward to Northern Spark this year. I had such a great time last year biking around the city with a fabulous group of friends. Naturally, I got my hopes up this year and naturally, they were not met because anticipation sets you up for disappointment. I went to the Stone Arch Bridge, one of my favorite places in Minneapolis, and nothing was happening. Literally nothing. There were just a ton of loud obnoxious people on the bridge that kept hitting me with their bikes. I suppose I could've gone other places, but by the time we were done at the Stone Arch the rest of my crew was ready to go home and I was kind of soured on the whole thing. It sounds like other people had a great time, which I'm glad about because I really wanted it to be great. It just wasn't for me. Maybe next year.

The tone of this makes me sound so discontent, I'm really not. I'm really happy. It's probably just this gray day getting me down.